Caledonia
"Good afternoon. Is Edna Bankston here?" the stranger asked as she walked in the open door of the Wilshire Ebell Theatre.
Startled, Mrs. Henry Bankston arose from the table where she'd
been holding a meeting and walked over to greet
this peculiar woman.
Edna Bankston
Henry Bankston's wife, Edna, had been installed as the president of the Los Angeles Ebell Club in the fall of 1964. On this day, two years later, she and two other club members had come to the Wilshire Ebell Theatre to discuss preparations for an upcoming concert to be held there in the spring. The discussions were proceeding nicely until this odd woman walked in.
Mrs. Bankston shook the extended hand before her and announced, "I'm Edna Bankston. And who might you be?"
"My name is Caledonia Monterrey, with two 'r's.
Did you know that Monterrey actually means King mountain?"
"Uh, no; I wasn't aware of that. As I said, I'm Edna Bankston, president of this club. How may I help you? Um, is it Miss or
Mrs. Monterrey?"
"It's Mrs., but I'm a lonely widow, looking for a friend."
Edna Bankston didn't quite know what to make of this oddly dressed woman: her misshapen figure subsumed by a gaudy, ensemble which she'd topped off with a fuzzy yellow hat.
"A friend? You say you're looking for a friend?"
"Yes. Please forgive me for intruding. The woman at the desk
of my apartment house suggested I might find suitable social associations at the Ebell Club. I've stopped by several times
this week, but never found the door open."
Edna was suspicious.
"Well, that's probably because we normally meet at the clubhouse downtown on Lucerne; this is our theatre. Two different utilizations entirely. Now, you mentioned an apartment house; is it nearby?"
"Yes. It's not far from here - just up Rossmore. The El Royale. Are you familiar with it?"
The El Royale
The stranger's comment, "Are you familiar with it?" brought forth great indignation in Edna. She threw her head back haughtily and verbally lunged forth.
"Of course I'm familiar with the El Royale. My dear, I was raised
in Hancock Park; educated at The Marlborough School for Girls.
My parents were personal friends with Ida Hancock, herself.
I lunch at the Bullocks Wilshire tearoom three times a week."
Bullocks Wilshire
"My God, woman; Luis, the elevator operator, knows me by name. I am Hancock Park!"
Luis
"Madame, I know every inch of this community and I know
most everyone who lives here. So why is it, Mrs. Monterrey,
most everyone who lives here. So why is it, Mrs. Monterrey,
that I've never had the pleasure of making your acquaintance?"
Caledonia smiled
"Well, I'm sorry if I offended you; that certainly wasn't my intention. As for why we've not met: I've only been in town for a couple of weeks. You see, I've lived in South Carolina most of my life. Sadly, I must say that my bohemian style never played well in Charleston; they just didn't get me, but hey, screw 'em. That's what I say."
Edna was mortified.
During all this, the two other club members were sitting at a table whispering between themselves as they watched this fascinating exchange. They, along with Edna Bankston, were old, rich dowagers; all of whom were completely intolerant of anyone who didn't meet their standards of socially acceptability.
"So, after my husband died I decided to come to Los Angeles in hopes of meeting up with a long lost family member. Oh, you'll be happy to hear; the woman at the front desk of the El Royale spoke quite highly of you. She said that you were very prominent and respected in the community."
Edna's demeanor softened a bit after Caledonia tossed her this morsel of flattery.
"Well, that was very kind of her to say. I suppose I have attained a certain degree of social standing, and it has always been my intention, as well the intention of all the distinguished ladies of Ebell, to utilize our privilege in such a way as to better the sorry state of mankind and brighten the dreary lives of those less fortunate."
Caledonia smiled
"Well, that's quite noble of you."
Caledonia looked around the room and asked, "I'm sorry, is there a ladies' room I might use?"
"Why, certainly. Right this way."
Mrs. Bankston walked her across the expansive room and
directed her toward the ladies' room.
"Just down the hall on the left, dear."
With that, Caledonia walked down the hall as directed and entered the restroom. Once Edna heard the door close, she turned toward the other women and nearly galloped back over to them.
When she reached the table she found the ladies tsk-tsking and shaking their heads in disapproval.
The snootiest of the two, Margaret Van Heusen
(of the Omaha Van Heusens), spoke up first.
Margaret Van Hesen
"Well ... have you ever seen such a sight?! I'm ashamed to be in the same room with such a woman! And what is that
ridiculous costume she's wearing? I've never in all my life!"
Edna motioned for her to keep her voice down.
"We've got to be careful, she'll hear us. Now, I agree with you, Margaret; she's obviously a dreadful person, and we all know
that she's certainly not Ebell material. I just find it odd that she showed up here out of the blue. There's something very fishy about this one, and trust me, I'm going to get to the bottom of
it as soon as she returns."
For several minutes an anxious Caledonia paced up and
down the tiled floor of the ladies room, eventually stopping
at the sink. Staring at herself in the mirror, she exhaled
deeply and thought to herself, You can do this.
You've come all this way ... you can do this.
With that, she adjusted her hat, mustered up all of her courage, and headed for the door.
Curious and giddy with suspense, Constance Claverton could barely contain herself. She was the silly, chatty one in the group and a constant sourceof annoyance for Edna
"Oh, my goodness, Edna. What on earth are you going to do?" she asked through her giggles.
Constance Claverton
"I'm going to quit beating around the bush and cut right to the chase; that's what I'm going to do."
The sound of the restroom door
shutting alerted the ladies.
"Shhh. She's coming back."
The three of them attempted to appear natural.
Caledonia re-entered the lion's den.
"Well, Mrs. Monterrey. Did you find everything all right?" Edna inquired."
Caledonia smiled
"Yes, ma'am; perfect ... everything is absolutely perfect."
Edna motioned her over, "Come join us, dear; I'd like to ask you some questions."
Caledonia crossed the room and approached the table at which the ladies were sitting.
Edna pulled out a chair and motioned for her to have a seat.
"No thank you. I'd rather stand."
Edna was taken aback.
"All right, dear; if that suits you better. Say, listen, I ... well,
all of us, actually; we'd like to clarify your intentions for
coming here today? Were you looking to join the club?"
Caledonia smiled
"Well, first, I'd like to ask you a few questions."
"Me? Well, all right, dear; what would you like to know?"
"Are you a church-going woman, Mrs. Bankston?
"Why on earth would you ask me such a thing? Of course I am. All my life I've been a member in good standing of the 1st Congregational Church of Los Angeles. My family vacationed with the Fifield's, for goodness sake."
1st Congregational Church of Los Angeles
Constance couldn't help but jump in.
"You know we have one of the largest pipe organs in the world, and we were all so sad to see Dr. Fifield retire last year."
Edna waved her hand in disapproval.
"Hush, Connie!"
She turned back to Caledonia
"Now, Mrs. Monterrey. Why on earth would you ask me about my religious affiliation? I mean, just what business is that of yours?"
"Have you actually read the
Bible, Mrs. Bankston?"
"What? This is ridiculous - I don't
know you. Exactly who do you think you are coming in here asking me such personal questions?"
Caledonia smiled
"Answer the question, Mrs. Bankston."
"Now see here, young lady," Margaret interjected.
Edna waved her off.
"I can handle this, Margaret."
Caledonia continued.
"Well ... have you, Mrs. Bankston?"
"Of course I have - what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, Mrs. Bankston; in your Biblical journey, do you recall ever reading Numbers 32:23?"
Raising her hand as if she were in school, Constance inquired,
"Is that in the back of the book? In the Newer Testimony?"
Edna shot her an angry look.
"Shut up, Constance!"
Turning back to Caledonia, Edna suggested emphatically,
"Madame, I believe it's time for you to leave. This is all very disturbing."
Undeterred, Caledonia continued.
"Your childhood home was on Arden, wasn't it, Mrs. Bankston?"
Constance was quick to confirm.
"Yes, she grew up on Arden Blvd.
Well, actually, it's South Arden,"
Edna pounded the table.
"For God's sake, Constance, shut your mouth!"
Caledonia smiled
"That's o.k., Constance. I'm aware of the address.
It was 440 South Arden. And directly across the street
lived the Camden family, and they had a son named, Elden; isn't that right Mrs. Bankston?"
Edna glared at this strange woman who inexplicably knew too much about her. Leaning forward, she half whispered, "What do you want from me?"
"The truth, Mrs. Bankston. Now, you said you attended The Marlborough School for Girls, correct?"
"Yes I did. What of it?"
"Would you please explain why you left Marlborough in the middle of your senior year."
This struck a tender nerve.
"You're a liar. I don't know you and you don't know me.
Did someone put you up to this? Did someone send you
here to spout despicable lies about me? I want you to leave
this instant!"
"No, Mrs. Bankston; I will not leave. The same time you
dropped out of Marlborough, the Camden's suddenly moved
away; isn't that right, Mrs. Bankston?"
Edna flailed her arms about in a state of agitation.
"This is ridiculous! This woman is certifiably insane.
I mean, it's obvious that she's out of her mind."
"Tell these ladies why your father was arrested and charged with assault."
Constance was bewildered.
"Assault? I can't believe that, Edna - not your father.
That can't be true."
"Of course it's not true! This woman is delusional. Now,
I'm going to call the police if you don't leave this minute."
Caledonia smiled
"We're all waiting, Edna. Explain to these ladies why you left
the Marlborough School in the middle of your senior year."
"Oh, Edna. What's this woman going on about?" Margaret queried.
"It's intolerable gibberish, Margaret"
"Tell them, Edna."
"Edna! What's going on?
This woman is frightening me," Constance wailed.
"Ask her yourself, Constance. Ask her why she left school.
Ask her why the Camdens moved. Ask her why her father
was arrested. Go on, ask her."
Constance turned to Edna, "Well, is it true, Edna?
Did you really leave Marlborough before finishing?"
Margaret followed suit, "Edna, please explain all this.
Is there any truth to what she's saying?"
Completely cornered, Edna sat down and threw her hands up,
"YES! yes, yes, it's true. You have to understand, my
grandmother in San Francisco was sick, so I dropped out
of school to go and care for her."
Margaret was especially shocked.
"Why, Edna. I can't believe you never told me that."
"Well, Margaret, I just didn't see any reason to tell you - it was so long ago."
Caledonia walked up to the table, planted her hands firmly upon it and leaned in close to Edna's face.
"Oh, come now, Mrs. Bankston. You can do better than that."
Edna's face was a painted canvas of shock, confusion, and dread.
Shifting her gaze toward the other two woman, Caledonia prepared to deliver the final blow.
"Well, since she won't tell you the truth, ladies, I will. The reason her father was arrested was because he beat poor Elden Camden with a nine iron when he found out what he'd done. And what Elden had done was the reason the Camdens suddenly moved away. And what Elden did is the reason Edna, here, had to drop out of school. Oh, and by the way, the sick granny story is complete and utter nonsense. Her folks did what every prominent family did at that time - they sent their daughter away so she could secretly give birth to her bastard child and then placed the baby for adoption."
Horror-stricken, Edna stood up and shouted, "Lies ... lies. All unmitigated lies!"
Possessing the countenance
of a caged animal, she turned to Caledonia:
"Who the hell are you?"
Caledonia smiled
"Hello, Mother"
"Be sure your sin will find you out"
(Numbers 32:23)
Your stories are great!
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